he’s a blobber that uses alien mind control

a few weekends ago, the husband and i met up with a fellow blobber in charlotte, said blobber has a friend in town so we thought it’d be a good opportunity to meet face to face.  this is his version of the story.

not only did i get to meet corey, the blobber but there were BONUS people too.  his lady, and two of his friends from high school.  those bonus people were very awesome.

back when the internet consisted of AOL chat rooms, meeting someone from the internet was not always a good idea unless you were just looking to hook up.  (by hook up, i mean attach yourself to a velcro wall in a velcro suit.)

the social media really has opened up a whole new way to make new friends, find old ones, and basically keep up with each other.  personally, i think it’s awesome that i can keep in touch with people that i have not seen or talked to in years.

holy crap, i just got on a tangent.  this story isn’t about tangents for the love of god.  IT’S ABOUT MEETING ANOTHER BLOBBER!

i was instantly drawn into his blob world, due to his ability to put the needle on the record ya’ll.  he can spin words together that’ll make you want to drop down on your knees and….. drop down on your knees and…. hmm i forgot what i was saying.  oh!  drop down on your knees and pray!

yes, PRAY.  or cry, or laugh so hard you pee your pants.

the praying comes in b/c you’ll be glad you didn’t have to be him as a wee lad b/c it sounds like he was living in hell.

the husband and i met this fine corey entourage in an area of charlotte called “NODA” for north davidson, it’s a trendy type of area, with gallery crawls and nifty hippie stuff.  i love the hippie stuff.

we had such a good time, my stomach hurt from the laughing.  there was laughing, and a lot of it.  truth be told, the husband and i could barely keep up with the banter of funny, whimsical, and sarcasm that these folks seem to just put out like an eye blink.

OH!  i almost forgot to mention that we brought darren along with us.  i texted corey to let him know darren would be coming.  i’m not sure if it was a coincidence but there was an extra seat for darren when we arrived.

after the husband and i sat our butts down, the waitress came to get our drink orders.  little did i know at that time how dangerously close darren was to getting injured.

as our waitress walked back to the table she dropped her tray of drinks and liquids and they went everywhere.  corey noticed with his keen eye,  that the waitress managed to save the beer but dropped everything else.

we all held our laughter until we confirmed she wasn’t going to die.  on her next trip over to us, she slipped in said liquids and dropped again.  this time, darren almost drowned in the liquids that were spewing through the air.  i picked him up and dried him off, and he doesn’t even remember it now.  i asked a few days ago, that’s how i know that.

corey mentioned that things like that happen wherever he goes.  (personally, i think he’s practiced in some sort of alien mind control to cause bizarre happenings.)

after the first waitress incident there was another incident involving another waitress.  she was picking up our extra chair at a table near us and got the chair caught in the ceiling fan.  dust flew for miles, and it was good thing we were done b/c it went all over the food.

in case you were wondering, corey is just as funny in person as he is on his blob, he’s got an awesome entourage, and it was well worth the drive into “the big city” and the sore laughing muscles.

p.s.  it was decided today via facebook , that if i die corey gets to take over the daily piglet.  (he may or may not stab you.)

don’t hold anyone hostage

a few days ago, my neighbor mentioned that she’s seen two baby fawns on our side of the woods, she thinks they are eating her vegetables b/c they’ve lost their mother.

i told her i’d recently seen a sizeable female in that same area on our driveway, during the afternoon while talking on the phone.  

after talking with my neighbor, i went to the trusty old google machine and asked it what to do if you think you have a motherless fawn. i found a lovely link with lots of good information.

according to the site i found, it’s a common thing for humans to think the babies have been left without their mom but isn’t always the case. i printed it out and gave it to my neighbor.

the very idea of a wild animal choosing your area of land to have babies is thrilling to me.

seriously, i know it’s really THEIR land and we’ve invaded their space. if they feel safe enough to birth babies in the garage or anywhere near our noise and smells, i take that as a friendly gesture that they at the very least feel safe around here.

the site i found took me down a few different alleys of thought.  the main one of parenting humans compared to rescuing fawns.

in the excerpt below from the site, i found it very similar to my ideas on parenting, in the sense that we must raise them for the environment in which they’ll live, and how to survive in the event i get hit by a truck. 

Staying on the Wild Side

By Patricia Henley
Assistant News Editor

Marjorie McKenzie Davis never coos to the orphaned babies she raises, doesn’t sing lullabies or babble baby-talk, and never gazes lovingly into their big, beautiful eyes. Instead, she keeps silent while she feeds and cares for them, and leaves them to their own devices as much as possible.

That’s because Davis hopes her young charges turn into completely wild adults.

"They have to retain their fear of humans," Davis explains. The human voice is not something they are going to hear in the wild. She doesn’t want it to sound at all familiar, or be associated with food and comfort.

in the quote, she notes that she remains silent.  she knows they won’t have baby talk out in the wild blue yonder.  she is, literally putting a fawn’s future above her own immediate needs.

that’s a heavy sentence, or for some it may be.  go ahead and read it a few times if you need to.

the urge to ooh and ahh over a baby anything is completely natural and instinctual for me.  honestly, i’m not sure i would be able to keep my mouth sounds quiet if i were trying to help baby fawns along,  maybe after some training i could work my way up to it.

the oohing and ahhing is my need, not the fawns.  my need to adore it, love it, and squeeze it (but not like george) is almost unbearable.

i have to keep this in mind with our kids, that i’m raising them to become the best THEM they can be rather than to try and make them become all the things i couldn’t be.  sadly, something many parents do.  they think kids are their second chance at successful lives. 

a good example of this, the movie, grey gardens (a remake of the 1075 documentary) on “big edie and little edie bouvier beale”.

sadly, “little edie” bouvier beale’s life was literally wasted b/c she absolutely could not live her own life (she wasn’t taught survival skills) and her mother was more than happy to rob little edie of her own life for her own selfish comfort.

too many parents unknowingly (and knowingly) raise their children to be emotionally dependent on them for their entire lives so the parent never lose their sense of purpose in life.  they literally suck the life out of their kids.

raising children, fawns, lizards or whatever to be the best them they can be is the very definition of unconditional love.

delta delta delta dawn, what’s the flower you have on?

last week i spent an hour trying to speak to a human at delta.  sometimes i really suspect that someone is video taping my life to sell for profit b/c it’s *that* chaotic and i’m *that* special (in the short bus sense of the word special).

i would call delta, it would ask me to enter my frequent flier number, and then another string of questions.  i would begin to transfer knowing that a person would be picking up the phone any second and then it would drop.  then busy signal.

oh wonderful.

i would redial, go through the same drill and get dropped again.  it only took 25 times before i decided to change my answers to the automated questions.  surely they would answer if i told it i wanted TO BUY SOMETHING?

every time i did this, i would get a human.  i would tell human my situation, human would transfer me to another human and BOOM i’d be dropped once again.

one time, after quickly telling a human the problem i tried to say to him WAIT! before he transferred me but he was so good at his transferring abilities i missed my very small window.  back to the dropped tone again.

i was in a real life ground hog’s day movie.  over and over and over the same thing would happen.  i tried calling NWA (they bought delta) and at least their phone line automation told me they couldn’t handle the amount of calls and then dropped me.

i checked the website for an answer to my problem.  you must know that i will avoid talking to a human if at all possible.

i know that i dialed 1-800-323-2323, at least forty times looking for a hooman that would help me.  finally i got one and told her there was a phone problem and could she please, please help me or i was going to admit myself into the psyche ward directly.

she was kind, i was kind.  i was EVEN POLITE.  in fact, it wasn’t until it was over until i realized that i had not been mean or yelled or any felt like it.  go me.

i was frustrated, THAT is true but i remained calm, cool, and collected.

finally the correct person i needed came on the line, i told her the problem, she QUICKLY had a resolution and it was so simple i could hardly believe it.  i asked her if she could stay on the line with me and hold my hand and she did.  then the beasty honkey dogs starting barking i couldn’t hear my delta lady any longer.  isn’t that just always the way?

and the supervisor lady confirmed they were having problems with their phones and it wasn’t just me being an idiot which, i OF COURSE considered for a short period of time.

one day, all this chaos will not be here and i’ll be old with no loud dogs or unpredictability, or rush rush rush and wait wait wait.  i should try to remember that so i can find the zen in each day of a life that i love to complain about.

it really is all very good, warts and all.

p.s.  the girl is coming home on july 8th for summer vacation, which means nothing can harsh my mellow.

p.p.s.  today is one of my BFF’s birthday today and i lovers her.  and, great grandma’s birthday!  two really awesome ladies that i admire and love.

i love you sugar

i begin to notice it in the stores, glancing over in the direction wondering what holiday is coming up next.  as the day approaches, i notice people crowding the area.

at first i tell myself that i’ll do it later, i’ll wander over there and give it a go.  but i don’t.  maybe tomorrow, or the next time i’m in that store.

but i don’t, i can’t.

i don’t want to have the feelings that go along with being in that section at this particular time of year.  i want to banish the very idea of it.  go away, far, far away.

i think to myself, i should be strong and do this for my husband.  he’s a dad.  and a darn good one too.

the father’s day thing, it’s only more of a hassle because there’s hype, the stores want you to buy expensive things for your dads, to show your admiration.

i still miss you, i always will.

my world is a much different place without you, it’s not as safe.

i’m not sure anyone will be able to comfort me like you did.  not so much because they don’t try, maybe i don’t allow it.

you seemed to always know just the right thing to say, or when to say nothing, knowing and valuing the ability to listen.

despite not being your biological daughter, you raised me as if i were.  you knew love was beyond a genetic connection, you knew about the important stuff in life, the stuff we’ll regret on our death beds.

i wish i could have had you around a little longer.  the last three months of your life were painful not only for you but for your loved ones.   you had a way of making people feel welcome, important, and most of all loved.  i try to carry those traits each day as i venture out into the world, sharing a little bit of you with anyone i meet.

thanks for being my dad, and always knowing exactly where i had an itch on my back or exactly where i needed my shoulders rubbed.

no card this year, maybe i’ll try again next year.

this may come as a surprise, but mountain dew will rot your teeth RIGHT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH

if you aren’t up to reading the article, at the very least please watch the short video.

more about “mountain dew rots your teeth Video“, posted with vodpod

everything below was pasted directly from the website, nothing written here is mine except for the very first sentence above the video.

Diane Sawyer and 20/20 Suggest PepsiCo Responsible for Tooth Loss

In special on poverty in the Appalachians, the native Kentuckian blames soda for widespread dental problems.
By Edward Schatz
Business & Media Institute
2/16/2009 4:34:31 PM

In case you were unaware, soft drinks may be hazardous to your teeth.

ABC’s Diane Sawyer made that abundantly clear in a report during the Feb. 13 “20/20. The report was the product of two years investigating the poverty and adversity faced by residents of eastern Kentucky. Amid tales of closed coal mines, alcoholism and drug addiction, Sawyer found time to tackle tooth decay.

Sawyer conceded that the negative stereotype of tooth loss in the Appalachian mountain range is based in some fact. However, after naming diet and the lack of dental care as causes of tooth loss, she intimated that the real source was the popularity and high consumption of the soft drink Mountain Dew in the region. Dr. Edwin Smith, a dentist offering services to mountain residents, suggested that Mountain Dew is particularly harmful because of its high acid and sugar.

Sawyer stated Mountain Dew has fifty percent more caffeine than Coke or Pepsi. And, while caffeine has no correlation to tooth loss, she suggested that Mountain Dew is the soft drink permutation of Prozac. All that caffeine apparently leads people to drink the soda as an anti-depressant, and many are “addicted to Mountain Dew.”

The report featured children who’d never seen a dentist before rushing on to Casey, a resident with poor teeth who claimed he was trying to “get off drinking so much Mountain Dew.” At no point did Casey or the dentist claim that his dental issues are rooted in soft drink consumption.

Pepsi issued an initial statement to “20/20,” describing the report as, “…old, irresponsible news.” Sawyer’s report left the statement at that, neglecting to include Pepsi’s assertion that it is “…preposterous to blame soft drinks or any one food for poor dental health.”

Pepsi, unlike Ms. Sawyer, believes that, “It’s about common sense, including a balanced diet and proper dental hygiene — like flossing and brushing teeth after meals and snacks.”

Perhaps realizing the folly of asserting common sense in media circles, Pepsi sent a second statement to “20/20” with a more conciliatory tone. “Our products, consumed in moderation, can be part of a healthy, balanced diet. It’s heartbreaking to see the impact of excessive or inappropriate consumption in combination with little or no dental care.”

The segment moved on from the soft drink peril, leaving Dr. Smith, in Sawyer’s words, “still doing battle with Mountain Dew.”