more on me being a pride virgin

it was my first time, making me a “pride virgin” and i had no idea what to expect.  i technically only knew of one person that was to be there, my friend from the north.

after the training on thursday, i said to my daughter “i sure am glad that’s over, i had to talk to people i didn’t know”.  she said, “you do that wherever you go”.  i was like, “really”?  i guess i do, but it still makes me slightly uncomfortable.

i can tell you that even i get nervous with anxiety about going to new places in which i might not know anyone.  i am pleased that i can move forward despite my anxiety and fear.  true growth lies in the areas of the unknown and uncomfortable.  if you are comfortable all the time, you are probably not growing too much.  but hey, that’s just my personal opinion and a lot of people are not interested in growing.

as a pride virgin, i had NO IDEAR what to expect and was very surprised that there was a slight danger to volunteering.  i was told that people will shout, they will call you names and their hate might spike out on you like spit-talking.

i asked my friend if she thought my daughter could attend, and she told me that it probably wasn’t a good idea due to the protesters.  i asked daughter if she was interested in attending the training and she said yes.  i told her that i didn’t want her attending on the day of the festival due to the danger.  and, if anyone had so much as looked at her wrong, i could very well go bat shit crazy.

she enjoyed the training and being around several gay people in one place (training day) and was surprised that they are just like everyone else.  i’m not sure why this shocked me, b/c i have many friends that are gay and she’s met many of them.  i suppose i took it for granted that it would be a new experience for her, at least new for her 14 year old self.

i thought about this and was like, dang i bet there are other people out there even adults that expect something magical to happen when surrounded by “the gays”.  i suppose this is normal human behavior, and part of where hate gets implanted into young minds.  hate that stems from ignorance, which is the worst kind.  how many of you out there think you are smart, yet you hate others who are different from you.

different in skin color, religious beliefs, etc.  i think prejudice is an inborn trait for most humans, it isn’t something we can always rule out.  i was raised to be open minded to all people regardless of their differences.  i found that i was becoming quite prejudice of prejudice people, therefore making me a prejudice person right?

when i was working out of town and coming back to the hotel after dinner out and i’d see a man, was i just a tad nervous that a man was approaching and the knowledge of my past experiences with men and the danger they can bring?  yep, i sure was.  i was cautious.  doesn’t that mean i held a prejudice?

i respect families having their own traditions, their own “rules”, and their own practices.  this doesn’t mean i have to hate them b/c they are different does it?  no.  sure, it was weird to be surrounded by women kissing other women, holding hands and loving each other.  it was weird b/c it’s not something you see everyday.

that is the only reason it was weird.  just b/c it wasn’t something i see everyday.  the love that pulsed from everyone and swirled above the crowd was love in it’s purest form.  the love that we all seek, the acceptance that we all seek, and the recognition that yes i love a person of my same sex and there isn’t a fucking thing wrong with that.

the events on saturday were not quite as bad as i’d imagined they could have been.  this means a few things to me, one acceptance is growing and more and more people are moving beyond their fears.   two, more and more people that are gay are allowing themselves to become free of the prison of trying to be someone they aren’t.

i’ve written before about a friend from high school that took her own life during her first year in college, she was an excellent athelite, a straight “A” student and she was beautiful.  she took her life b/c she realized she was gay.  THIS is why i reach out beyond my comfort zone, maybe someone’s child won’t die b/c they love a person of the same sex.  no parent should ever attend their chidlren’s funeral, it’s supposed to be the other way around.  especially, not for something so fucking important as who we love.

tranny, gay, and straight oh my!

holy crap!  i’m telling you right now that if you ever have the chance to attend a pride festival you should totally do it.  and?  guess what else?

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE GAY!

SERIOUSLY!

i know, you’ve only dreamed about attending a pride day celebration and thought you wouldn’t be welcomed with loving arms.  ALAS!  the piglet is here to tell you, you can GO!

a friend that i’ve had for many years who hails from connecticut originally, but settled with her husband and son in north carolina hooked me up for this activity.  she sent me an email a bunch of weeks back and i read it and thought “wow!  i’d LOVE to help out”!  and i never called her back b/c i tend to get entirely too caught up in my daily duties and do not like doing the phone thing very much anyway.  i’ve become very slack in returning calls.  once i figure out how to do it without using the phone, i’m signing up.

lucky for me, i ran into her at the baby shower of the famous “boo hag” and got it squared away.

can i just tell you that i am very glad that i got hooked up?  it was an amazing experience for me on so many levels that i haven’t even figured them all out yet.

another amazing thing about it?  i was able to stand silently while protesters were screaming at me for being a sinner, telling me that i was going to hell.  is it obvious that i’m not a wall flower?  i come from a very long line of strong and independent women that sometimes do not know when to SHUT UP.

another aspect on this progressive front is that recently, i had to withstand some completely untrue things being said about me, and i sailed through it.  ME!  mouth of the south sailed through it!  could this be that i am actually maturing?  go me.

my duty at the festival, a part of a group called “partners in peace” also known as pip.

we were there to create a presence in the event things got ugly, to  serve as a buffer for the event attendees.  the protesters were handing out pamphlets to attendees, our group would offer to take them  to recycle.  as you can imagine, the protesters didn’t like that.

i saw many old friends that i have lost touch with over the years, and i really enjoyed being a part of something so awesome.  the bonus part of service work is that you are totally doing something that makes use of you as a human being.  far, far away from my normal narcissistic ways.

all of the masks were dropped at the door and being with humans without masks in a public place is better than free ice cream or being first in line at the dmv.