you know how people accuse you of doing things that they themselves do? i hate that. like, for example accusing a person of keeping “things” from intended recipients. i would never do something like that, you know tampering with the u.s. mail is a federal offense.
or like say, trying to keep a person that lives in your house from receiving phone calls. i never have, nor would i ever do that. yet, i’ve been the victim of this very crime.
things make sense to me now, things that seemed completely retarded before. the reason they make sense is the person accusing ME of such ignoramous deviant behavior is really accusing me of things THAT person did and will do.
keep that in mind.
if you are being falsely accused of something by another person, and if you are not guilty that these are the VERY things the person would and could do themselves.
the very reason that i try as hard as i possibly can to be honest is b/c not being honest takes up entirely too much energy, very much like making excuses for everything drains the life force RIGHT OUT OF YOU.
kind of like the idea of me having an affair, i can barely type this b/c i’m giggling. with all of the responsibilities that i have on my plate, an affair would be the very last thing i could accomplish. i certainly notice cute boys, or admire them but really i have no left over time for that. dr. ruth said it was ok to fantasize, and that’s about all i have room for.
besides, after being married and living with a man for so long what about that makes me think i’d want to jump right into that situation again?
in fact, when my husband dies (i only say this b/c women usually out live the men–and he has high cholesterol) i’m totally never going to live with another man (unless he is gay and a good housekeeper). not b/c i don’t love the men, i do. they’ll just have to have a house maybe right next door to me or something like that.
i am woman with conviction, and honor.
not a woman that leaves one man for another b/c she has no way of supporting herself. her life is a web of lies, deceit and sadness. she wonders why her life is so bad. i say this to you woman, look within yourself for the strength you bleed from others. look within, get some help and turn your bus around. you can do it, i know you can.
because i am this type of woman, nothing can knock me down for long. NOTHING. i am a survivor, always have been, always will be. it took me many years to grow into realizing it. trust that i wasn’t “borned” this way.
*note: i have in no way been accused of having an affair by anyone, i just got off on a tangent.
Posted by leah 
