this morning i had a dentist appointment for three fillings. i don’t dread the dentist visits so much b/c i really like our dentist people. my biggest complaint is with our insurance company, in that we have to pay it all up front and get reimbursed by them within a few weeks or so. collectively, the husband, the son and i have all had about $2000 of work recently.
does everyone brush their teeth frantically and extra well on the morning of the appointment? do you floss? i usually brush and floss in the shower, i even have a mirror to help me with the flossing. when i have completed this task, i use the shower head like a water pic to finalize what my brushing and flossing could have missed.
i always have to get extra novocaine at the dentist, as i have a very low tolerance for pain. i think i am the only one in my family outside of offspring that has such a low tolerance.
i say this b/c there are some in my family that like to tell me what a “p” i am for not being able to withstand pain. when i was younger, this made me feel inferior. now, i just think what idiot would sit around in pain saying “hey, i’m in pain and i’m not doing anything about it! see how strong i am?” see how stupid that is?
i must add that i had to have two epidurals during delivery of my son luke, which increased my chances of being permanently paralyzed to two times.
after the dentist gave me the first shots of novocaine, i got all nervous and tingly. i’ve had this before, sometimes i even get dizzy and feel like i’ll pass out. so i asked doctor about it and he explained the effects on our adrenal glands, how if we are over stressed our reaction to adrenaline is to pass out or faint. (i love that my dentist explains things to me in the way he does, and not like i’m a little kid.) and, correct me if i’m wrong the novocaine is like an adrenaline shot into your body.
then i remembered that my chiropractor treating my “adrenals” before, to which he explained was due to my stress levels.
i was putting all of this together in my brain, so i asked dentist if that could be why my tolerance for coffee has gotten low. i used to share two pots a day with the husband and now, i can only have a couple of cups a day b/c it makes me all nervous and jumpy which i cannot stand. and possibly why i seem to be sleeping like a cat some days, for hours and hours at a time.
it isn’t that i am surprised that my stress levels are high, in fact i think they’ve been high for like the last nine years. the dentist added in something about my thyroid, and my brain did a full informational circle. i’ve been “meaning” to get some specialized testing done and i’ve been putting it off.
i asked the doctor if he minded if i listen to my ipod, he said no.
as he spoke to me, he was talking loud so i told him that i didn’t have my volume up that loud, he didn’t have to yell at me. then i thought, “you are a dumbass”. to tell the dentist to not yell as he’s drilling your teeth. good one leah, it’s really a wonder i am even still alive.
shortly after this i told him about some of the stories i’ve heard from children of dentists and the abuse they’d endured. he thought i was talking about kids that get pushed into the profession by their father dentists, i wasn’t so i had to explain it to him further that i meant actual abuse. (don’t ask me why, i’m blaming it on the epinephrine in the novocaine.)
i thought about it for a minute, what i was saying and thought i should try and clean it up. i was like, “well see i’m in aa and i’ve heard a lot of stories over the years you see”. (thinking to myself, JUST STOP AND SHUT UP NOW.) finally, i just stopped talking. then he started talking again. i prefer it when he is the one who talks.
as he was talking, i wondered if he was putting a tracking device into my filling b/c the whole experience just felt much weirder than i’ve ever recall it being in the past. perhaps coupled with all the crazy that i am experiencing in my personal life, i am finally going off the rails.
Posted by leah 
