at the beginning of vacation, i try to stay on top of our possessions, keeping them organized and not forgetting where i put things. keeping the “dirty” away from the “clean” stuff, keeping snacks readily available at all times due to my vacation partner being a six year old.
towards the end of a vacation i just stop caring and start thinking being homeless really could work out for me if i tried hard enough.
i love the beach, but i have an issue with the sand and stickiness that comes with the ocean package. i’m a person that likes to have clean and unobstructed hands and feet.
the day that luke and i checked out of the condo we rented, we went down to the beach for one last glimpse of the ocean. i also needed to return the tiny crabs that i’d captured in a bucket in order to observe them overnight. always the scientist, i am.
the thing with going for one last glimpse, is that there would be no hose to wash my feet off, or his. i’d been thinking about this for about four hours while i was packing up, before we even did it, trying to come up with a solution. i came up with no ideas about the foot washing.
as this was our last day, i was past the point of caring. i had sand all over my feet and shoes when we got back into the truck. as i was trying to find a spot for foot washing, i realized that i would soon need to go poop. lucky for me, it wasn’t your normal poop. i thought quickly about the meat i’d eaten the night before and now when i eat meat my body rejects the living shit out of it.
i found a place with public restrooms which i loathe, but hey who cares right? after we found a place to park, then followed the signs i realized the real bathrooms were under construction and they had porta potties up. (if this had been your typical poop situation, i would’ve done it but i could not have my abnormal poop experience in a porta potty jammed in with my six year old. i’m pretty sure that would be grounds for having your children taken away by dss.)
walking back to my truck, the golden arches appeared out of nowhere and for the first time since i was a child, i was very happy to see those golden arches. this also meant that as soon as luke saw where we were going, he would immediately be starving.
we drove over there so i could have a decent place to have my abnormal poop. as luck would have it, my cell phone rang. oh joy. it was the husband, so i had the boy talk to him. the boy explained to him that i was pooping and we could be there for days.
keep in mind, i still had sandy feet. after i finished my business and flushed the toilet a few times (i’m a courtesy flusher ya’ll) a thought popped into my head.
i found a solution to my icky feet problem. i put my feet into the toilet and rinsed away like any proper redneck.
Posted by leah 
