my savannah experience part two

after freshening up (getting coffee and peeing in a clean place) we headed back out into the dark in order to meet the hearse at a square. savannah has lots of squares. i compare it to me finding a nice shirt or pants and then buying one in every color since i’m not much of a fashion expert. savannah realized that squares throughout the downtown area worked well so they just made a bunch of them.

we got there and it was dark. there were homeless people in the square we were in. i could tell b/c they had everything they owned with them, including rover (dog). i really like people that you don’t expect to see out and about, like homeless and crazy people. or old women with bent heads.

boo hag warned me that savannah is a dangerous place, and after my experience there i completely agree with her.

the hearse pulls up, we jump in and head off to meet up with another group that are supposed to join us. it’s kind of like a japanese steakhouse, except you are in the back of a hearse sitting high up in chairs nailed to the floor. right away we knew our driver would be a blast when she got on her microphone and said to the pedestrians, “get your fat asses out of the way”.

she pretty much harassed any and all people and cars that got in the way of the hearse. people were yelling at us, going “BOO!” and such. those people thought they were funny and original but they really weren’t.

one group of people, sitting in front of a hotel in which we were parked for a long time were yelling at us. they suggested we do something and i had to yell back, “WE CAN’T! WE’RE DEAD!” and then, they came out with “DEAD PEOPLE SUCK”! i returned with, “YES WE DO AND WE LIKE IT”!

meanwhile, the driver picks up her fella friend, to have him ride with us for a bit and then drops him off to grab a beer while we go around some blocks with her pointing out the haunted places and the stories that go along with them. then it was time to pick her fella friend up again.

after we picked him up, he requested that both boo hag and i “show me your b00bs”. i misunderstood what he said, boo hag translated for me. then as we drove around with him in back with us, he asked several women to show him their boobs and he would reward them with beads that he wore around his neck.

i tried to tell him that he would have better luck if he said boobs instead of the other word he was using that begins with “T”.

i have to stop now b/c it’s time to go and eat at the irish pub in our town in celebration of my fore fathers.