thank you god and jesus. amen.

my son finds money pretty regularly (and not just in my purse or his dad’s wallet). just walking around places like parking lots or whatever.

i’ve taught him to say “thank you universe” each time he finds a coin. i explained that you must show gratitude to the universe in order for the universe to continue to bless you. he’s 5 and a half so he may or may not get that.

after his stint in pre-school in which they spoke of god; he learned to thank god and jesus combined for certain things.

recently, he son incurred an injury to his thumb. i wasn’t sure if we should go to the urgent care or just try and take care of it at home. i opted to try and bandage it up at home, altho i wasn’t convinced he was home free from the trip to urgent care.

as it turned out, we decided to take him to urgent care. when he found out what was going on, he clasped his two hands together and began praying to god and jesus to please don’t let the doctor give him stitches OR staples. he did it repeatedly, like in the “ocd” way.

seeing as how i am “considered an adult” and therefore have surpassed that “thinking god is santa claus phase”, i felt compelled to share with him that his stitches are not in the hands of god and jesus.

they are in fact, in the hands of something far worse. doctors.

over the past couple of months each time he’s been injured, he runs to me frantic asking if he is going to die. the first time it happened i was a little alarmed. next time, a little more alarmed. then it got to the very alarmed stage in which i start speaking about it with other people.

my friend jill reminded me that around 5 or 6 years of age children begin forgetting their past lives and realize they are mortal. that clears that whole “am i going to die” thing right up.

yeah, i said it. and i guess it means i will be going to hell since i believe in past lives. at least i will be in good company with the beach boys, black sabbath, ozzy and aleister crowley.)

freaky

tonight while vacuuming my ear*, a grand-daddy long leg spider came sidling up to me.

there was a stick nearby, so i swashed him away with the stick. he kept coming so i swashed him again with the stick.

he stopped and i think it did some damage to him. i came to that conclusion after noticing one of his legs came off, which means the leg was NO LONGER ATTACHED TO HIS BODY.

i was a little perplexed with the severed leg b/c it was still moving. moving like it was still attached to the body. but keep in mind, that leg? NO LONGER ATTACHED TO HIS BODY.

in my opinion, the severed leg continued to move entirely too long for a severed leg. according to some quick research, this is a well known defense for these spiders. it gives the torso (and remaining legs) a chance to make a run for it.

i wonder if all the legs were removed from the body, could the torso still make an escape? perhaps i should perform a scientific experiment. i love scientific experiments.

what if human limbs continued to move after being severed, giving the torso a chance to escape? i bet it would work on the first try b/c the person doing the severing would totally freak out and run.

*if you tell my doctor that i was vacuuming my ears out again, i will completely deny it.