The Mom I Met (aka T.M.I.M.)

I think I met my *other* alternate universe me. I have long suspected that Leahpeah was my alternate universe twin, and perhaps we have more than one or two alternate universe selves. You know like real life people, versus your blog people?

This woman is like me in ways that you don’t just tell perfect strangers. Or, perhaps there is something about me that makes people want to share their innermost secrets. Perhaps they feel pity at the silliness that is me.

One word. Checker. Ok, another word. Counter. OCD, heard of it? If so, then the words checker and counter have other meanings to you. Or the ever so dangerous, Cutter (altho, I did not confirm this with her but I’ve learned to spot “us” out there in a crowd. They are the same ones that usually wear that big sign on their foreheads that read “DAMAGED”. Not just anyone can see these signs on foreheads, you have to have extra special powers.)

I can spot-check a person with a few minutes and tell you stuff about them they may not even know themselves. Special talent? Heck no. It’s called learning to protect your self from flying objects and crazies.

One day I’ll be teaching that at a school near you. Abuse at an early age can teach you special talents like that. You learn to become an FBI profiler. I say this after coming out on the *other side* and using my gifts for good.

I told her (TMIM) that I would put water in the ashtrays before I emptied them. So did she. I told her that I would be late for work b/c I would have to drive back home (being 1/2 way to work already) to be sure no fires had begun or some other unforeseen/unimagined tragedy occurred. So did she. In fact, she said “I had a problem with the stove”. And I knew immediately what she was talking about.

She’s short. So am I. She loves coffee. So do I. She admitted that sometimes she drinks a pot a day. I replied “yes, husband and I sometimes (looking around to make sure no one is looking) drink 2 POTS a day”.

She used to smoke.  I quit when I found out I was pregnant with Luke (which turned me into an instant whack-job), and started back when I was done breastfeeding. She misses smoking. She can’t take her kids to her parents houses (b/c they smoke inside). I would rather not take my kids to my Mom’s b/c of the smoke.

She only wanted herself and her husband-to-be at the wedding. So did I. (Altho, Luke was present for our nuptials.) She was grouchy on her wedding day. SO WAS I! I was never more scared in my entire life as the day my husband-to-be tied me up and dragged me to the alter. (The same chapel that our Angel Sis got married in Charleston, SC).

And yes Angel Sis, I will tell the world that the same wedding in which Piglet and Magical were not really invited but we forced ourselves there anyway and ended up being LATE to Angels wedding. (Because sometimes Magical and I oversleep. And sometimes we suck.) Just thinking about that incident makes me want to cry. We dragged in to that chapel un-showered and I was crying b/c I felt so ashamed.

And even more so when I told Angel’s husband (#2) that Dale proposed and he promptly told me to not count on him being there since we ruined his wedding day. I like that about brother #2, he doesn’t pull any punches. He’s realistic and absolutely the perfect man for our Angel Sis.

So after our 2nd date (TMIM), my husband asked me if I’d gotten her number. I said no, that’s much too forward. And, she did mention that she’s had a few false alarms with other Moms so she doesn’t want to rush into anything with a new Mom just yet.

This stuff is all very new to me, *hooking up* on the playground that is. As usual, I’ll be using my instincts as my guide. Those seem to work pretty well.